We need to talk...

Hey you!

Put down that device and listen up. I have something to say and I need your complete attention.

This is your body speaking. Remember me? I’m the one that keeps you alive. I’m the one that makes it all happen for you. I’m the one that learns your world. I’m the ultimate source of your creativity and yes, your intelligence. But I’m getting really tired of the way you’ve been treating me lately. In fact, I think it’s time to call this for what it is: an abusive relationship.

In the first place, you don’t listen to me. I’ve been talking to you for a long time now, but you haven’t been paying attention, so now I need to be clear. I am tired of being ignored.

It all starts with your toxic, sedentary lifestyle. You make me sit in chairs for days and weeks at a time. We sit at work all day, then get in the car and sit, then sit some more. It’s sit, sit, sit. I hardly ever get to use my legs anymore. Can’t you feel the itch to get up and move?

And then there’s the stuff you feed me. It’s mostly crap. I want real food, not that glow-in-the-dark stuff you expect me to burn. Don’t you get it? I evolved to eat real plants, meats, fish and nuts from our habitat, not a factory. You don’t even know what you’re eating or where it comes from. Just stop it with the refined food-products and sugar, OK? The insulin spikes are killing me.

And don't get me started on the stress. Everything seems to be an emergency for you. It one big fight-flight thing isn’t it? The constant multi-tasking, fear, anxiety, tension; you’re on edge 24/7, and I need a break. How about some oxytocin every now and then?

To make matters worse, you don’t give me enough time to sleep. You keep the lights on almost all the time. I want to go to bed, but you make me think it’s day time all the time. You keep me up late for no good reason, then you get up early and expect me to rally.

And can’t you just give me a few deep breaths once in awhile? Can’t you just sit still for awhile and do nothing? Why do you have to be doing something every minute of every day? Your frenetic activity is driving me crazy. I can’t even remember the last time we just lived in the present moment.

The worst thing is the way you keep me isolated from my natural habitat. We hardly ever go outdoors anymore and even when we do, you’re on the phone or you put those awful screaming buds in my ears. I can’t even hear the birds or the wind.

Don’t you get it? I am an animal. And not so long ago, I was a wild animal. But now you expect me to function as a domesticated creature, incarcerated indoors and divorced from the sensations and experiences that give us life. You are a fool if you expect this kind of relationship to work for very long.

You’re on the wrong path, bozo. Your cognitive, neck-up, abstract approach to everything leaves me out of the picture and I’m not going to take it much longer. All your calculation, strategizing and planning is killing me. Do you think I’m just a locomotor device for your eyeballs? Didn’t it ever occur to you that I might have some more interesting capabilities beyond the ability to move a mouse, scroll a menu or swipe a screen?

So wake up brother: I need a voice and I will be heard. I’m usually pretty good about adapting to circumstances, but I’m getting sick and tired of the way you’re treating me. I need to express myself; I need to move and I need to be in touch with the natural world. If you can’t figure out a way to make that happen, I’m going to have to push back and you’re not going to like it. You either start taking care of me or I’m going to make your life miserable.

And remember, when it comes to the quality of our life, I’m the one who gets the last word.